Curmudgeon

Even though I don't like Andy Rooney I'm just like him. He's a curmudgeon, and I'm the same way.

For instance, I hate it when people walk with their cane on the wrong side. If you injure your right foot, you should use your cane on the right side. It's to provide an aide to the injury. Half the people use it on the left side, thereby hurting the injury even more.

I once approached a woman on the street who was using it on the wrong side. I'll never do that again!

I emailed Tara Parker-Pope about this when she was at The New York Times (now she's at The Wall Street Journal).  She agreed with me. I talked to two doctors about this, one my general physcian and one a podiatrist. They said the same thing.

And women shouldn't tug on a skirt or a blouse if it's too short or shows to much cleavage. I'm certainly not a prude, but if a woman is uncomfortable in a miniskirt she shouldn't wear it. Some women are always tugging their skirt to cover up their legs. Don't wear it if it makes you uncomfortable!

Another thing I dislike is when you're filling out a website. When it asks for the state, it usually goes to a list, you can fill in NY, or New York, one or the other. Originally, I think they made it easy for website designers, but it's totally unnecesarry now. Anyone knows the abbreviation of their state, or knows how to spell it.

So, I turn off 60Minutes just before Andy Rooney comes on, but I'm just like him.

Into the Blast: The True Story of D.B. Cooper

November 24, 1971 - A man using the assumed name of "Dan Cooper" leaped from the aft stairway of a Boeing 727 jetliner after demanding four parachutes and $200,000 in cash. He was never seen again, and nearly forty years later, he has never been identified - until now.

During the initial investigation, few in law enforcement suspected that the hijacker could actually be an employee of the airline, and that was their mistake.

Kenneth Peter Christiansen, a former World War II paratrooper and later a purser for Northwest Airlines, was the man who pulled off the boldest unsolved crime in history.

Skipp Porteous of Sherlock Investigations, New York, and Robert Blevins of Adventure Books of Seattle present the case that Christiansen and Cooper were one and the same.

Into The Blast shows how Kenny Christiansen planned the hijacking of NWA Flight 305, what motivated him to do it, who helped him on the ground, and what he did with the money afterward. More than thirty pictures, as well as interviews with the witnesses, reveal the truth in this fascinating book.

See it here.

2012 on Twitter

I'm up to 360 followers on Twitter. And I'm following over 500 people. The only problem is that I got thousands of Tweets a day. Unless someone sits in front of his computer all day long, there's no way you could read that many Tweets, or want too.I probably read a 100 Tweets a day.

Promoting a business on Twitter is like advertising on the radio. Most of the population is never going to hear your ad. The only way is to do many Tweets. The danger of that is that people may unfollow you.

Some people Tweet five or six at a time. Some have automated accounts where they Tweet every hour or more. You get the same Tweets all the time from these people. I unfollowed a person who said all the time "Why won't they tell us what's happening in 2012?" She was promoting a conspiracy book.

A couple of people have asked me questions on Twitter, and many have retweeted me. I've always had some interesting exchages with people. I found out from Craig Newmark, who started Craigslist, that I have ACS (attempted comedy syndrome). I didn't know that before, but I suspected. I understand that there's no cure for ACS, but at least it's no fatal.

Don't believe everything you read on the Internet

The difference between research and investigating depends on who's doing it. If Sherlock Investigations is doing it, it's investigating. If Columbia University's doing it, it's research.

Whatever you call it, it's sometimes necessary. If you meet someone online you research/investigate them. If you're going to invest money in a company, you research/investigate them.

Researching something online has gotten easier since the advent of Google and Wikipedia. Before most people knew that you could do it, we used to enter phone numbers in Google and get the subscriber's name and address, and charge $50 for it. Now, most people know about it. Google doesn't have most people's unlisted number so people still come to Sherlock Investigations for that.

Google and Wikipedia have almost everything about everything. You have to be careful with Wikipedia. Anyone can edit it. I've been in Wikipedia for several years. Some of the things it says about me simply aren't true. I used to change them, but someone would change them back again. Now, I don't bother.

One site says I converted to Orthodox Judaism. It's simply not true.

You have to be very, very careful when researching/investigating online. Get at least two sources, but be sure they didn't get the information from each other.

If there is misinformation about you online, forget about correcting it. Anything on the Internet is like Pandora's Box. Perhaps one way to cover your tracks is put a lot of false information about yourself on the Internet. Use Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc. Then someone researching you will not know what to think. Obviously, some of the info is wrong.

What I've learned in life

In a few days it's my birthday again. So many, many trips around the sun!

Today I was thinking about what I've learned in life. If I could fit all I've learned in the space of this blog then I've haven't learned anything. But I'll write the few points I'm thinking about right now.

First of all, and I think it's the most important thing, is that you can't really know anyone else until you know yourself (You also have to love yourself if you want to love someone else.). To know yourself and to see the many flaws in your character. If you don't think you have flaws you're just kidding yourself.

You should also see your good points too. You and I have them. A lot of them. Many good, positive points. You have to deal with both the flaws and the good points. Reduce the flaws and increase the good.

Along with that is not judging another person. If you see yourself as you really are it's not hard to refrain from judging others. I used to judge other people (and sometimes still do), and actually crusade against certain groups with belief systems I didn't agree with.

You'll receive what you give. In fact, you'll receive more, whether it's money, understanding, kindness or love. On the other hand, if you judge others, or are bitter to everyone, you'll be judged by others, and people will be nasty to you.

I've really learned to accept freedom of religion. I've always agreed with that concept, as long it was the right religion!

As I said when I originally started this blog, this blog is just to express myself. I really don't care if anyone actually reads it. I feel better already!

The Jury came back on the Twitter case

My Twitter account is called Number1PI. Sherlock Investigations was too long. On Thanksgiving I had 82 followers on Twitter. Two months later I have 306. But don't cheer yet. It took me many hours to gain those followers.

I remember approaching 200 followers. Every time I reached 199, some would unfollow me. It took about a week to break the barrier at 200.

Some people make it their goal to have a lot of followers. They actually say, "If you follow me, I'll follow you." So, a person has, say, 1,200 followers, and they're following 1,200 people. The more people you do that with the more tweets you get every day. Currently, I'm following about 479, and I receive about 2,000 tweets a day. Who has time to read all that? Can you imagine your tweets lost in this mess?

If you're a popular person, or a news organization, you'll get a lot of followers, and you don't have to follow anyone in return. Everyone wants to hear what you have to say, and you'll be the first to get breaking news.

A lot of people try to sell things on Twitter. All kinds of things. I've had several hookers try to follow me and I blocked them. Sometimes Twitter catches them first.

Twitter is great for breaking news. No longer do you have to wait until 6 o'clock or your morning paper to arrive to get the news. I think getting the news so fast makes us a very anxious society.

The bottom line, unless you're very well-known, Twitter is useless to sell anything or promote something. If you want to follow people just to get their perspective, fine.

The Jury is Out on Twitter

Oprah claims that she Tweets. I seriously doubt if she has the time.

Speaking of time, I don't know if Twitter is a waste of time. Ten days ago I had (I have no idea why.) I had 82 people following me on Twitter. Since then, I've been working my ass off on Twitter. I spend an inordinate amount of time on Twitter. As of tonight, I have now have 120 people following me. By "following me," they follow (supposedly) everything I Tweet (or post on the Twitter site).

Of course, I intend to get some business out of it. I'm optimistic. Always. I've learned to "tweet" things that will interest a wide audience. Once in a while, I post something that will interest a lot of people, but it's pure advertising.

So far, I haven't gotten any business from Twitter, but, as I said, I'm optimistic.

Some people post the most inane things on Twitter. I think Twitter is to blame. On the 140 letters that you can post on Twitter, they originally said something like, "What are you doing now?" I posted something stupid like "I'm looking at Twitter." That is not as stupid as some of the posts, if you can figure them out.

About a week ago, they changed the label to "What's happening?" That phrase sounds like something from the 60s. Are the guys who run Twitter 70 years old?

I don't know if Twitter will make it or not. I kind of doubt it. On Twitter, there's a lot of inane trash, ads, and spam.

If I get some jobs out of Twitter, even just one, I'll write about it here (Not revealing essential info about the client, of course.)

Gmail

I love Google. Everything they do is right. Google Earth, Google Maps, Google Street View, are all fantastic. This blog, and my Sherlock Case Files, is powered by Google.

For several years we've used Gmail, both for my business, Sherlock Investigations, and my personal email. Today, Gmail went down for at least 5 hours. All the while it was down, I looked for some news about the problem, but there was none. Even now, about 5 hours after Gmail went down, there is no news.

The only way I could use email is on my iPhone. I call it my iQphone, because it's so smart. Even my Safari browser on my Macbook couldn't use Gmail. My iPhone and my Macbook both use the Safari browser, so I don't understand that. We couldn't use Gmail from Internet Explorer or Firefox either, just my iPhone.

I like Gmail, but Google is going to have a lot of problems. It already has. Today, I read that the City of Los Angeles is thinking about officially going to Gmail. Not after today, I would guess.

In September, Gmail went down for several hours too. Google has a lot of enemies. Perhaps they're to blame.

I'm not ready to give up Gmail yet, but.....

Andy Rooney

Recently, Don Hewitt, creator and director of "60 Minutes," died.

I watched a special on public TV on the man. It was great. The following week "60 Minutes" excerpted parts of the program. Hewitt was an amazing man, and he loved what he did.

At one point, Hewitt mentioned that he had 25 reporters, and only 5 get to be on TV. Actually, only three of the five get to be on "60 Minutes" every week.

However, curmudgeon Andy Rooney is on the show every week. I don't know why. His comments are usually inane. He complains about everything (and here I am complaining about Andy Rooney). I have no idea why he's on every week, or on at all.

I figure Andy Rooney must have a lifetime contract with CBS. Maybe he was better in the beginning. He'll probably not retire. The only way around it is to change the channel when Andy comes on.

Only in New York?

I say, "Only in New York," because I've never seen it before. I understand it's common in Hong Kong.

Today, I was driving west on West 37th Street. I stopped at a red light at 8th Avenue. Then, a couple of cars behind me, a fire truck had approached, on the way to an emergency. It's lights were flashing, siren wailing, and horn blaring. In New York emergency vehicles have the absolute right of way.

This is about the only time you're permitted to go through a red light. In fact, it's the law. In any case, you're supposed to get out of the way of an emergency vehicle, even if it means going through a red light.

The uptown traffic on 8th Avenue was heavy. Although I wanted to move forward, and go through the red light, it was impossible.

Then, a small, Asian women jumped in front of the traffic on 8th Avenue, waving her hands in the air. I couldn't believe it. I thought she was going to get killed. She successfully stopped all the traffic by herself.

I proceeded through the red light. The car behind me followed. The fire truck went through too, and turned up 8th Avenue.

As I drove to 10th Avenue, I was still so amazed.

When I got back to the office, I told Sherri, my associate. She said, women do that all the time in Hong Kong.

Designer Jewelry

Friends of mine, Jon and Deborah, wanted me to look over Deborah's website to see if I could improve it. Deborah is a designer of jewelry and has her own company, Deborah Armstrong & Company. Her jewelry is really quite exquisite. While the site looked very professional, the source code (where the title is and the key words are) lacked almost everything that should be there.

Ruth, my webmaster, of Pintis Operations, helped me with this.

This blog entry is part of my experiment to boost her search engine rankings.

Ruth and I are available to help people with their web sites achieve higher rankings in search engines. After years of trial and error, my other site, SherlockInvestigations.com is ranked very high in search engines.

The following is from Deborah's Biography, at www.deboraharmstrong.com

Deborah Armstrong -- President, Founder and creative innovator behind the Greenwich, CT based Deborah Armstrong & Company – has always had a creative side. As a child, she was immensely interested in all types of arts and crafts, anything that was hands on.

At the University of Colorado, Deborah continued the trend majoring in art and art history. After moving to Los Angeles, her first jobs were costume and wardrobe for TV programs including All in the Family and as a sculptor creating exhibits for the Los Angeles Fair. These provided the experience necessary to become a model-maker for George Lucas' Industrial Light and Magic special effects firm. At that time, sci-fi filming techniques were at their advent and Deborah had to be both inventive and somewhat engineer-minded to help build the necessary otherworldly creatures for Star Wars and its successors. With her interest in television and film piqued, Deborah moved from a career in model-making to film editing the sci-fi series Buck Rogers and Battlestar Gallactica.

After marrying Jon Connolly - screenwriter of such films as The Dream Team, Opportunity Knocks and Eddie, Deborah moved to New York City and began a career in advertising where she worked for DDB Needham on diverse accounts like Clairol, Volkswagen, Mobil Oil and Amtrack.

In the early 1990s, Deborah returned to her creative roots and started taking jewelry classes at Cecilia Bauer's Studio and Parsons School of Design. She launched her company in 1996, and now produces beautiful sterling silver jewelry with semi-precious stones and 18k gold accents under her own name. Deborah Armstrong jewelry is now available at over 300 chic boutiques, galleries and fine jewelry stores across the country.

Deborah loves what she does and has incorporated her visual and craft-making skills, as well as her ability to market and sell a product into a very satisfying and profitable career. From the very beginning, she developed a loyal following. She has been cited in the Los Angeles Times as a designer to watch. Her jewelry has been featured in many top fashion magazines and is now worn by celebrities including Halle Berry, Jennifer Connelly, Faith Hill, Heidi Klum, Susan Lucci, Diane Sawyer, Marisa Tomei, Diane Von Furstenberg, Sharon Stone and Vanessa Williams.

To go to the site, click here www.deboraharmstrong.com

Frankly, if I may, it's unclear

Pardon me if I've written this before. There's nothing worse, after saying what I have to say here, than repeating oneself.

I've been noticing more and more on TV, talking heads repeating the same bad mistakes. It seems that they think that they must say, "Frankly," as part of what they have to say. "Frankly" is effective if it is indeed frank.

The news readers and their guests at CNN often say, "If I may." This is being used as a filler, instead of saying, "ahh." I guess it's better than saying "ahh," but it's not much of an improvement.

Finally, all news uses "unclear" whenever they don't know. The New York Times uses it frequently. CNN, Fox, MSNBC, and virtually every other newscast use "unclear." To say "it's unclear," is saying, "I don't have a clue."

Our Obama Moment

On Saturday, April 19th, 2007, we got a phone call from a fellow supporter of Barack Obama, saying that Obama was speaking at a hotel in Midtown Manhattan that day. We'd been attending organizing meetings for two months in the Lower East Side. Everyone thought we were delusional to support this guy Barack Obama. Almost no one had ever heard of him, and he had a funny name.

At first, I was backing Hillary, but went along with Hannah just to be with her. Soon, though, I got the itch.

We quickly got ready and took the subway down to the New York Sheraton on West 53rd Street. The conference room Obama was speaking in wasn't that large, holding, maybe a couple hundred people. Our seat was in the fifth row.

It was truly exciting to see Obama enter the room. His speech, of course, was superb.

Afterwards, we went to the street and found a small crowd gathered around Obama. His handlers were trying to get him into a waiting SUV. I pushed through the crowd to try to shake Obama's hand. Although I reached way out, I was about two feet short. Then he disappeared.

We were excited to hear Obama speak, and to almost shake his hand. Heading toward the subway, we walked down 53rd Street. After a couple of blocks, we saw Obama's SUV double-parked on the side of the street.

Security personnel were posted to kept people away from the SUV, although there were no people around to keep away.

Hannah and I walked across the street facing the SUV. Obama was in the back, talking on his cell phone. He looked up and saw us. Enthusiastically, we waved to him. He waved back and gave us his famous smile. That was our Obama moment. It made our day.

Studs Terkel

A number of years ago, maybe twelve or thirteen, I got a call from a PR agency that told me that Studs Terkel wanted to interview me about Christian Pentecostalism, for a forthcoming book called The Great Divide. I had read his book, Working, in high-school, so I had some idea of where he was coming from.

Studs was a sort of down-home kind of guy. He had checked into a flea-bag hotel in New York, the kind that rents rooms by the hour. I went to his room and knocked on the door. Studs opened the door and I was greeted cherrily by his gravely voice. He was ready to go, and had a tape recorder ready.

He asked me all kinds of questions about Christian Pentecostalism (the kind that Gov. Sarah Palin is involved in.).  I readily answered all his questions. 

Then he asked me to speak in tongues. As that is gibberish, I told him that it was gibberish and refused to do it.

Shortly, the interview ended. It had taken about an hour. I never heard from Studs Terkel again.

A couple of years later, I think, I saw his book, The Great Divide, in an airport bookstore somewhere. I went in and picked it up. The Table of Contents listed everyone Studs had interview for the book. I wasn't included. 

Gay Marriage

It looks like California is going to ban gay marriage, a privilege that's existed for five months. Two other states, Florida and Arizona, banned gay marriage this week in the election.

I don't support gay marriage, but I don't think that once a freedom is allowed, it should be taken away. Now, let me further explain my position.

The state, or government, should not participate in gay or straight marriage. The extent of the state's involvement in a couple's personal affairs should be a civil union, not marriage.

If any couple, gay or straight, want to have a civil union, which gives all rights to any couple, they should be able to do so in any state. Marriage should be a personal thing. Marriage has a religious connotation, and we believe in the separation of church and state. If a church, synagogue, or other religious or secular institute endorses gay marriage, more power to them. Gay couples should be able to get married through these institutions, or no institution at all.

A state though, should not be a participant in straight or gay marriage. A state should only offer civil unions, and to every couple regardless of sexual orientation.

The Takeaway...Takeaway Gov. Palin

I'm writing about two different subjects, as they keep melding in my mind. First, The Takeaway. The way I figure, WNYC budgeted for The Takeaway for a year. That's why the radio program hasn't folded yet.

My clock radio automatically goes on a 5 a.m. At six, it's The Takeaway. Hopefully, I'm in the shower at the time. Of course, I can't stay in the shower for an hour, so, unfortunately, I have to hear some of the awful show.

They always say, "It's The Takeaway, heard all over America." So what, NPR is too, and on a lot more stations.

What I can't figure out is that the show wastes so much time with friendly bantering and silly things, but every time they have an interesting guest, they cut the guest off, saying, "We're running out of time."

What the hell. They should stop wasting time on the program, and get quality, in-depth interviews from their guests.

As far as I'm concerned, there is nothing worth taking away from The Takeaway. After the New York Times started adding The Takeaway at the end of a lot of their articles, at least online, I finally figured out the meaning of The Takeaway. You're supposed to take away something. But, there's nothing to take away. By the way, the New York Times is part of The Takeaway.

Now, my focus on Gov. Palin. In a week, she'll be taken away. The thing to fear, though, is she'll be back.

Something I've never seen in the media is something that I've observed about Palin's glasses. I've looked closely, and they don't seem to magnify. I think she wears the glasses for looks only. She does have nice eyes, and the glasses appropriately frame them. I think that's why she wears them. But I think they're plain glass, not prescription lenses.

I also don't like the way she uses her baby with Down Syndrome. Often, she carries the child on the stage, and then hands him off to someone. She should leave him home, like her other children.

Concerning her unmarried, pregnant daughter, some people are predicting that the guy who got her pregnant won't marry her unless McCain-Palin win the election. We'll see.

In any case, we'll hear from Palin again.

Honest Greek Cab Driver

We recently spent a month at a 200 year-old stone farmhouse on the isle of Paros, Greece. Our stay was absolutely fantastic.

Getting home, though, was another story. All the Olympic Airlines flights were cancelled on the day we were supposed to return to New York. We checked into a small family-owned hotel in Parokia. The next morning we took a ferry to Athens, a 4.5 hour journey.

At Athens, we arrived at the port, an hour drive from the airport. At the airport, we had to straighten out our tickets to New York. Because of the flight cancellation from Paros, we had missed our connecting flights.

At the port in Athens, a cab driver approached us and offered us a pretty good deal to drive to the airport. We accepted.

Along the way, he stopped on the freeway and pointed out the Parthenon, which we photographed from a distance.

I was exhausted by the time we got to the airport. I handed the driver some Euros. He handed something back to me, and it became confusing. Hannah saw the problem and interceded. Thinking the matter was settled, we headed into the terminal to straighten out our tickets.

While waiting in line, I realized that I had been shorted 10 Euros. It wasn't so much the money that bothered me, but the fact that I had been screwed. Later, I had planned to admit to Hannah that I'd been had.

After dealing with Air France (a great airline, by the way) for almost 45 minutes, someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned. It was the cab driver. After leaving the airport, he realized he'd made a mistake, in his favor.

He handed me two 5 Euros. I couldn't believe it. I don't know where he parked his cab to look for us. But find us he did. 

There is at least one honest cabbie in Athens. Probably many more.

McCain Flip Flops

Just a few years ago Senator John McCain referred to the televangelists Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell as "agents of intolerance," because of their lack of respect of the constitutional provision for the separation of church and state. Now, he's embraced that same intolerance by naming Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate.

Raised in a Pentecostal church, the Assemblies of God, Palin is about as right-wing as you can get. The Assemblies of God engage in the practice of speaking in tongues (gibberish that they believe in a prayer language), faith-healing, and the soon return of Jesus. Of course, I don't begrudge her right to believe in that. After all, this is America.

While it hasn't come out that Palin speaks in tongues, it's my guess that she does. We do know that she thinks that the Iraq war is God's war, that she doesn't believe in abortion, even in cases of rape or incest, believes that Biblical creationism and abstinence should be taught in public schools. That last one, though, abstinence, didn't seem to work very well for her family.

For years, the religious right tried to win the White House. Pat Robertson himself even ran for President. Now, if McCain happens to win, they'll have accomplished their goal. With McCain's age and health history, Sarah Palin could become Evangelist in Chief.

Rick Warren's New Image

When The Purpose Driven Life first came out I saw pictures in the media of its author, Rick Warren. When I saw him on CNN last Saturday night with Barack Obama and John McCain, he didn't look as I remembered him.

Three things had changed. One hadn't. Warren is still fat. Now, his hair is fuller, almost as if he wears a toupee.  I don't know what he did, but he does look better. He also apparently wears contacts now. In the old photos he always wore glasses.

Warren also did what a lot of heavy men eventually do, he grew a goatee. As he continues to improve his appearance, he should work on slimming down. Warren's lifestyle is very comfortable since writing a best seller, and pastoring a mega-church.

A comfortable life-style can be dangerous to one's health. I know. About eight years ago I lost 60 pounds, and have kept it off. My weight gain was very gradual. It came as a result of being too comfortable in life.

I hope Rick Warren gets off his duff and slims down a bit. It would certainly help his image, an image he truly seems to be concerned about.

MTA Negligent

Two days ago I reported on the smoke-filled subway car and the frantic people trying to escape the smoke and get into the car I was riding in. But they couldn't, because the doors were locked.

This has been bothering me ever since. This morning I called customer service at New York City's MTA. I spoke to a Miss Edwards. I related the story to her, and told her that I was concerned that the doors were locked, preventing the riders escaping the smoke to enter my car.

Right away Miss Edwards lit into me, saying that people shouldn't be going from one car to another, that they could fall down and get electrocuted.

"But they were trying to escape a smoke-filled car," I said, "they were trying to get the hell out of a smoke-filled car and the doors were locked!" Then she reprimanded me for pulling the emergency brake. "Didn't you see a button to call the conductor?" she asked. I told her that people were starting to get back on the train and momentarily the doors would close, and the riders would be trapped on the car, so I pulled the emergency brake to keep the train from going on. She said she didn't understand why the people were getting into a car that was filled with smoke. I told her I didn't know why they did that, but I didn't want the door to close on those people. (Actually, a lot of the smoke left the car when the doors opened, but it was still coming out of the ceiling of the car.)

By this time, she cooled off a bit and started asking me for more details. I know the MTA is trying to discourage people from going from one car to another while the train is moving, but locking the doors is going too far.

Subway Fire

Late this afternoon I took the MTA Number 2 express train  from the 72nd Street station to 14th Street in the Village. At 50 miles an hour between 72nd Street and 42nd Street (Times Square) the train really gets moving, all underground.

Halfway to Times Square, a bunch of people in the car in front of me started banging on the windows of the door of my car. At first I thought it was some drunk or deranged person, but I could tell that it wasn't either. Between the cars there were a lot of people, frantically banging on the doors. Several people in my car tried to open the doors, but they were locked. (There are two doors with a window in each; one slides to the right, the other slides to the left.) As hard as they tried, they couldn't open them.

I looked into the other car to see what was the matter. I was thinking that there was someone in the train with a gun, or a deranged person acting crazy. But, no, the car was filled with smoke, and the people in it were frantic to get the hell out.

Shortly, we arrived in Times Square. When the doors opened, everyone in the smoke-filled car poured out. In my car, quite a few people left to catch a local train.

To my dismay, people entered my car, and the car that was filled with smoke. After all, it was rush hour, and people were in a hurry to get home. Momentarily, the doors would close, and all those people who had entered the smoke-filled car would have to endure the smoke until the next stop, 34th Street, Penn Station. Maybe some would pass out.

So I did what any rational person would do. I pulled the Emergency Brake. Immediately, an alarm went off. The doors didn't close and the train didn't move.

Soon, MTA personnel rushed to the smoke-filled car. I waited a few minutes for the fire department to arrive. But I had an appointment at 5:30 p.m., so I had to get going. I caught the Number 1 local and left.

Later I was thinking about the subway doors being locked, and people dying in the smoke-filled car. And I was thinking, we're lucky, or, if you will, fortunate, to be alive. 

Takeaway The Takeaway

The Takeaway, in case you haven't heard it, is a new radio show started by Public Radio station WNYC, in New York. If you haven't heard it, don't bother, because it is awful.

The hosts are John Hockenberry and Adaora Udoji. John and Adaora seem like perfectly nice people, but they should be doing something else. Hockenberry plays the role of a sort of Howard Stern, and Udoji acts like the sidekick Robin. Though they try to joke around, they're not funny.

The program is disjointed, too loud for so early in the morning, confusing, and so far below the standard usually heard on Public Radio. It really sounds like commercial radio. There are voices coming from everywhere. Every once in a while a woman whose accent indicates that she came from the BBC reads the headlines. I rather like British accents, but on The Takeaway there are just too many voices. It's live, too, and they try to get listener participation.

National Public Radio's Morning Edition starts at 5 a.m. Then The Takeaway takes over for an hour at 6 a.m. At 7 a.m. Morning Edition resumes until 9 a.m. Meanwhile, there's that awful hour.

To be fair, if one wants to hear Morning Edition throughout the morning, you can switch to WNYC-AM, which carries Morning Edition in its entirety. Other areas of the country don't have the option. The Takeaway is carried nationally by Public Radio International.

I like listening to FM radio, and if I want to stay in bed a little longer, I shouldn't have to get up to change to AM.

This month WNYC will have its quarterly fund drive. It'll be interesting to see how The Takeaway affects the drive.

I fully support Public Radio, but the sooner The Takeaway goes away, the better.

Rev. Jeremiah Wright & Hillary Clinton

When I first heard about the Rev. Jeremiah Wright I approached his pronouncements with understanding. I wanted him to come forward and say that he's not a fanatic.

Now, he's removed all doubts that he's a fanatic, and seems to be deliberately trying to hurt Sen. Barack Obama, perhaps because Obama denounced him. Then again, maybe he's just trying to position himself as being totally out of touch with reality, knowing that nobody could see any resemblance between Obama and him.

I certainly don't. I think Barack Obama is a great American, and would do the most to unite people as they stride forward to make this nation even greater. His opponent, on the other hand, is doing all she can to damage him. Perhaps Hillary and Jeremiah should get together.

Fedex/Kinkos Sucks

In February I brought a job to Fedex/Kinkos on West 72nd Street in New York. It was a simple job, just stationery and envelopes. It was "camera ready." All they had to do was print it. Simple.

Most print shops would have the job done in a day or so.

Two weeks later I still didn't have my order. After I pressured them, I finally received my order after 3 weeks. However, it wasn't right. I ordered, and paid for, raised type on the stationery and envelopes. This is very common and simple.

As I desperately needed the stationery for a project we were working on for my company, Sherlock Investigations, I didn't return it, but I did complain to the assistant manager. He said that he would have it done over, but since I wasn't returning the original order, he couldn't offer a refund.

It's good that I didn't return the job and get my refund. Three weeks letter they gave me the re-done job, six weeks after I gave them the original job.

I emailed Fedex/Kinkos' customer service three times. They just made empty promises.

About a year or so ago, Fedex bought Kinkos. Fedex used to have a real nice place just down the block on 72nd Street. It was neat and efficient. When they merged, they moved Fedex down the street to Kinkos. Now it is messy and disorderly. You hardly want to go in there.

We'll never use Kinkos again. (This week we had a job to print 1,000 flyers on a color laser copier. The job went to another company downtown.) I'm also seriously thinking of canceling my account at Fedex and using DHL or UPS.

Obama's Patriotism

First things first. Note the date of the last blog entry I made.

Now, on to patriotism.

I noticed that not one person who criticized Sen. Barack Obama for not wearing the American flag on his lapel has one on their lapel or shirt either. There are plenty of patriotic Americans who have not enriched the lapel pin makers.

The very fact that Barack Obama is a United States Senator is proof of his patriotism. There are plenty of Senators and Representatives with whom I disagree, but I don't consider any of them unpatriotic.

Secondly, the fact that he would even run for President is further proof of his patriotism. As a lawyer, he could make much more money in the private sector.

Accusing someone of being unpatriotic is a smoke screen. Don't vote for him if you choose not to, but don't call him unpatriotic. Doing so doesn't prove your patriotism. I think it does just the opposite.

Changing Careers

Recently I was given an offer I couldn't refuse. As my reader knows (is there more than one?), I've been running Sherlock Investigations in New York City since 1995. It's really hard work, with a lot of responsibility. Always a problem to solve.

For years, I've wanted to do something mindless. Now that opportunity has come up. I've been offered a real good deal on a hot dog wagon at Columbus Circle. I'm starting this weekend. As the weather gets warmer I'm going to do it full-time.

I love hot dogs, with mustard, relish, and sauerkraut. I can hardly wait. (A free lunch.)

So, if any readers of this blog (is there more than one?) identify themselves, I'll give you a free hot dog when you come to Columbus Circle in New York.

Barack Obama

Pastor Wright

Years ago, I belonged to a black church in Los Angeles. My pastor was the Rev. Harley Akers, brother of the well-known gospel singer Doris Akers.

There were a few white people in the church, but it was mostly black. I loved the enthusiastic singing of the gospel choir. I loved Brother "Ike" (Isiah Jones) on the organ. I loved Pastor Aker's preaching. (One time he tore the glasses from his head and threw them so high they hit the ceiling.) He was a lot like Barack Obama's Pastor Wright. Of course, I didn't always agree with him, but I loved him anyway. To a white man, I found his preaching was outrageous, but I think I knew where he was coming from.

Eventually, I left the church, Glad Tidings Tabernacle, but not because I disagreed with Pastor Akers, which I often did.

To be frank, white people just don't know the experience of black people. I'm sure many people in black churches disagree with their pastor sometimes, but that's no reason to quit the church.

Hillary: Support Barack

Sen. Hillary Clinton is hurting the Democratic Party by continuing her race for the nomination. She has virtually no chance of getting the nomination, but hopes that "Clinton magic" will win the day.

Hillary, give up. The longer you go on, the more you hurt the party, and increase McCain's chance of winning in November.

Your "major speech on the economy" today gave us some hope. You sounded tired and defeated, almost ready to give up. The speech, was, to use your own words, "just words." The delivery was weak and lifeless. You know who can not only deliver the message, but just plain deliver. 

The sooner you endorse Barack Obama, the sooner we can win against the Washington establishment.

Rev. Jeremiah Wright Where Are You?

It's time for the Rev. Jeremiah Wright to speak out. Barack Obama says he's like family. Others, including Martin Marty the theologian, says Wright's a nice guy and not bigoted.

Wright just retired, so he's certainly got time to campaign for Obama. If he's really a nice guy, let him come out and let the people judge if he's a nice guy or not. At the very least, let him apologize for getting Obama in hot water.

Rev. Wright, where are you?

Obama Rocks!

Forced into a corner by his pastor, Obama, to his credit, refused to disown him. I, too, have friends with some radical ideas, but they're still friends.

Bill O'Reilly, and others, seem to have a hard time understanding that. O'Reilly criticized Obama for not repudiating Pastor Wright in stronger terms. I wonder though, had Obama gone after Wright more strongly, and even disassociated himself from Wright, would O'Reilly now be an Obama supporter? I don't think so.

Michelle Obama for First Lady

Today I read an article about Michelle Obama in the New York Times. I sure like her, and hope that she's our next First Lady. Of course, in order for that to happen, her husband, Barack, has to first win the Democratic nomination, and then the general election.

You know, I think he will. In politics, though, a lot can happen in a short time. Right now, he's walking all over Hillary, and starting on McCain too.

My girlfriend got me to go to an Obama organizing meeting in SoHo a year ago.  At the time, I knew little about Barack Obama, so I just went along for the ride.

Since that time, I've heard Obama speak twice, in person, and many times on TV. I'm truly impressed with him, and have hope.

I don't expect a president to be all things to all people. I don't expect him to be a great Commander of the Armed Forces. I don't expect him to know all about health care, the economy, or education. I do expect him to have wisdom, and to know how to pick people who can do all the things we expect out of a president.

Sure, his speeches are general, designed to build hope. There's not a lot of substance there, but that's OK. Anyone who really wants to know where he stands can go to his website, or read his book, The Audacity of Hope. The book has a great Index. When I want to know where Obama stands on something, I just look in the Index. 

Barack Obama speaks from the heart, and doesn't pretend he knows everything, or won't change his opinion on something. That's the kind of President I want.

K-9 Detective

A couple of years ago notices were posted on all the doors leading to the stairwells in the 29 story building where I live. It seems that someone was letting their dog urinate on the landing of a particular floor. The management suspected a dog owner, so instead of going to the dog owners on that floor, they implicated all of us dog owners.

I know all the dog owners in my building and didn't believe that any of them would let their canines pee in the stairwell. So, I called the superintendant of the building and asked for him to call me if an incident ocurred again.

About two weeks later he called. A porter had discovered a puddle of pee on a stairway landing. I immediately put a leash on my dog Sparky, a Llhasa Apso, and headed to the elevator. We met the super on the designated floor and he showed me the puddle.

My theory was that Sparky would be very interested in dog urine, because when I walked him three times a day he sniffed every tree, bush, and everything that didn't move. He could identify every dog in the neighborhood by the urine he smelled. However, if it were human urine in the stairwell, Sparky would have no interest.

I walked him by the puddle and he paid no attention. He just wanted to go down the stairs. Then I actually walked him through it. He still paid no attention. If it were a dogs', he would've sensed it as soon as he walked through the door and become very interested.

My conclusion, I told the super, was that a person, a human being, peed in the stairwell. Understanding my reasoning, he agreed with my premise.

Soon, Sparky proved to be a good detective, as a woman with Alzheimer's disease was found to be the culprit.

Sparky suffered a massive stroke on Saturday, November 10, 2007. He was 15 years and 7 months old. He's missed.

Pat Robertson Backs Giuliani?

Although Pat Robertson says foolish things, he's no fool. That's why he announced his support for Rudy Giuliani.

I've studied Robertson for many years, met him, and debated him on a national radio broadcast. I think I know the man. For several years I even recruited operatives to infiltrate his Christian Coalition, and personally attended its Road to Victory conference in Washington DC.

One thing that you can be sure of about Robertson, actually two things, he's antigay rights and antiabortion. He would never ever back a candidate who supported gay rights and is prochoice, such as Giuliani.

So, what's he up to? I think he's trying to sabotage Giuliani's campaign. As the Republican front-runnner, Giuliani frightens Robertson. He knows that the Religious Right will never support Giuliani, even with his backing. And he knows that if he backs Giuliani, it'll scare away moderate Republicans and they'll support someone else.

The bottom line, by backing Rudy, Robertson will cause him to lose the Republican nomination for President, and that's what Pat Robertson wants.

Civil Unions for All

Marriage generally is a religious institution, or at least it has religious connotations. Because of the constitutional separation of church and state, the state should have no part in marriages. Any union of two people that the state is involved in should be a civil union. The only interest that the state has in a union of two people is a contractural one.

If people want to get married, the state (every state) should allow people to do what they want. They should be able to get married in the church, synagogue, mosque, home, or whatever, of their choice, and the state should recognize their marriage.

If they want a civil union, the state should be involved and record the union at the county courthouse. In other words, the state should not be involved in marriages, ever.

Janet Jackson's Right Breast

Maybe it was her left breast that caused all the sensation. Whatever. I'm sure they're both the same, and nicely proportioned. (I love that contraption that framed her nipple.)

I thought of this the other day when I saw an MTA bus pass by. Now, you might wonder why a bus reminded me of Janet Jackson's tits. (If you're not wondering, you shouldn't be reading my blog.)

Well, I'm about to tell you. (Of course.)

A few years ago I saw the Lion King on Broadway. It's truly a spectacular performance, and well worth seeing.

During one lively episode, one of the perfomer's costumes came undone and her breast became fully exposed. Dancing wildly, she had no time to pull up her garment, and she went though the whole act with her perky breast bobbing in front of the audience.

I was delighted. I thought that mixing adult fare with a G-Rated performance was brilliant. Then I realized that this wasn't meant to be.

I was with five other people. Afterwards, none of them mentioned the incident. Was I imagining it? I wondered. No! I'm a private detective. I observe things that others miss! I reasoned.

I don't doubt what I saw, and sometimes wonder why there was no hue and cry about this performance, as there was about Janet Jackson's "costume problem" at a nationally televised football game.

Well, this was truly accidental, and maybe her exposure was deliberate. Then the problem was "Janet Jackson was trying to steal the show," during a football game's halftime.

Who was playing that day? I don't remember.

Janet Jackson suceeded.

The First Thanksgiving

The first Thanksgiving was in 1621. That’s a mere 385 years ago. There is only one surviving member from that wonderful day, but she lost her memory about 300 years ago, so we have only a couple of written accounts of what happened on that day.

To start our story, let me ask a question:

“If April showers bring mayflowers, what do mayflowers bring?”

“Pilgrims.”

The Pilgrims arrived in December 1620. If they had arrived a month earlier, the first Thanksgiving would’ve been in 1620, but they missed it, and had to wait almost a year.

As you already know, the Pilgrims came on a cruise ship called the Mayflower. It was the first cruise ship that the Carnival Lines sent to the New World.

The Mayflower landed in Plymouth, Massachusetts. Plymouth was named after a car that is no longer manufactured.

The Pilgrims were Puritans. That means that they were pure in word, thought, and deed, much of the time.

Some of them knew how to fish, and since New England is famous for its seafood, they really had plenty to eat, and for that they were thankful.

The Native Americans taught the Pilgrims how to farm, as they owned a big farm called Pepperidge Farms. Squanto, who was a distant cousin to Tonto, taught them how to plant Indian corn.

There were about 50 Pilgrims and 90 Indians at the first Thanksgiving. The Pilgrims didn’t have a place big enough to seat 140 people, so they set up many card tables outside (the Pilgrims only had card tables for eating, for they didn’t play cards, after all, they were Puritans).

It was a cloudy day, but, fortunately, the weatherman said that it wouldn’t rain that day.

Of course, the people in New York were thankful for a cloudy day, too. It’s totally miserable to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade in the rain. They couldn’t sit home and watch it on TV because there was no TV back then.

In the morning, after the men went out and shot five deer, two dozen turkeys, and caught 150 codfish and 98 bass, they brought them to the women who slaved away in the kitchen to prepare the big feast. This is a tradition that survives to this day.
When they sat finally down to eat, the Pilgrims sat on one side of the table, and the Native Americans sat on the other side.

Miles Standish said to Chief Massasoyt, “What, you don’t trust the white man?”

Chief Massasoyt just smiled.

After their traditional American Thanksgiving dinner, all the men gathered together to watch “The Game.”

The women threw the dishes into the ocean, for they had a lot of sweaters to knit. Winter was coming on.

Playing on that first Thanksgiving were the New England Pilgrims versus the Pittsburg Steelers. The Steelers used to be called the Pittsburg Scalpers, but Native Americans, and rightly so, objected to that name.

Pittsburgh won, 90 to nothing. The Pilgrims really weren’t into football. For one thing, the Bible they always carried got in the way when they tried to catch the ball. They were also afraid to get too close in a huddle because they were afraid people would think that they were gay, so they couldn’t hear how the quarterback said the play would go.

(Little would they know that Massachusetts would be the first state to adopt gay marriage.)

Later that night, they sat around the fire while the Indians taught the Pilgrims how to make popcorn. One man, named Redenbacher, who was a stowaway on the Mayflower, took careful notes.

And that, my friends, is the true story of the first Thanksgiving.

Nothing to Say

In our office we usually have CNN on during the day. It seems funny to me that they always have "news," even when there is no news. In the afternoon, Wolf Blitzer (I love that name.) comes on. He always sounds like some national disaster is happening.

Every night, ABC, CBS, NBC (in alphabetical order) has their 6:30 p.m. news (It might be at a different time for Central, Mountain, and Pacific). Whether or not they've got any new news is not the point. The advertisers expect a newscast. So, they do it.

I think that they sometimes make up news. They'll run the same old video clips time and time again. They should just say, "There's no news tonight," and run Laurel and Hardy or something.

Of course, this is why I'm writing this blog tonight. I have absolutely nothing worthwhile to say.

Andy & David

Sometime in 1987, the City of New York put new sidewalks in on Washington Street in the West Village. Before the cement hardened, someone scratched in "Andy & David 1987." Often when I walk Sparky, I see their inscription. I imagine one of them did it. Maybe they were walking by, hand-in-hand, and couldn't resist the temptation of wet cement, and immortality.

I imagine Andy and Steve were men, unless Andy was a woman. But I doubt it, for several reasons. One being that the West Village of New York City is a very gay area. I've seen two men having sex on the sidewalk in the West Village. That's nothing. I've seen three male and female couples having sex in cars in the West Village. Not all at once, of course.

Seeing "Andy & David" reminds me of the Rev. Jerry Falwell. (Sorry for such a disturbing thought.). He's fond of saying, "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." Well, sorry Jerry, I beg to differ with you. (I've debated Falwell on TV, so this isn't the first time I've differed with him.). God created Adam and Steve, and Andy and David.

When Jesus taught us to pray, he said, "Our Father..." "Our" means all of us. The fatherhood of God and the brotherhood of man. Sure, some don't think that there should be couples like Andy and David, but that's the way it is folks.

I just hope Andy and David are still around. AIDS has devestated the gay community in the United States, much the way it's devestated the straight community in Africa.

Andy and David will always be remembered, at least every time I pass by with Sparky.

Lincoln Towers

Being just a country boy at heart, I'm lucky enough to live in a place in the center of Manhattan that has lots of trees and grass. The grass, though, is rapidly disappearing and being replaced by bark chips.

I live in Lincoln Towers, an eight-building complex of co-op apartments bordered by West 66th Street, West 69th Street, and Amsterdam Avenue and West End Avenue. It's really a nice place with lots of amenities.

I have a dog, and so do a lot of other people here. Also, dogs come in from outside the complex and walk here.

Some dog owners let their dogs go everywhere, even where it says, "Please, No Pets." I know the dogs can't read, but sometimes I think the owners can't either.

There were several areas that used to be covered by some sort of creeping ivy. (Not poison ivy, but maybe it should've been.) Now, these places are bare because dog owners were uncaring and let their dogs ruin it.

The management here tries to keep up with the damage done by the dogs. Every year they rope off large sections and re-seed. As soon as the new grass comes up, they open the area and let the dogs go back there. The roots never have a chance to become established.

In some areas they've just given up. They put down black liners and covered them with bark chips. It looks OK, but I'd rather have green grass than brown chips.

There is one section right down the middle of Lincoln Towers that contains buried steam pipes. The maintenance people keep trying to plant grass there, but it will never, ever, grow because it's just too warm. They never seem to get it.

One building's board was very wise. They installed an attractive metal fence about 15" high around an area where they planted beautiful flowers. Month after month these flowers stay beautiful, because dog owners don't let their dogs jump over the short fence. It's just too obvious.

One section of newly planted grass is used as a shortcut from the building I just mentioned, out to Amsterdam Avenue. Pretty soon, the old path there will reappear as people start using the shortcut again.

What the management at Lincoln Towers needs to do is erect nice metal fences around any area where they don't want dogs, or people taking shortcuts. Otherwise, stupid dog owners and pedestrians are going to ruin those areas.

The cost of the fence would be a one-time expense. (Maybe somebody has a reason for paying the laborers to replant every year. Sometimes they even work on weekends, at overtime pay.) I wouldn't even mind paying a nominal fee for a Lincoln Towers dog license.

The areas where they have just given up will stay brown. In the rest of the grassy areas, they're fighting a losing battle. The dogs rule.

Of course, next year, they can plant new grass seed again, and the year after, and the year after, and the year after......

Get the UN out of the US

For years, certain right-wing groups, such as the John Birch Society, in particular, have been saying, "Get the US out of the UN." I have no problem with the United Nations, in principle. The body has done a lot of good. Sure, there are problems, but let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Instead, let's move the baby and the bathwater.

The UN takes much more from New York than it gives to the city. When they hold General Sessions, and especially when the President comes, the traffic in New York is a nightmare. Streets close, busses change their routes, and there is no parking.

The UN should be moved to Switzerland, a so-called neutral country. New Yorkers are tired of the UN and all the inconveniences it's presence here causes.
No, don't get us out of the UN. Get the UN out of the U.S.

Katie Couric's Sign-off

Pick up any newspaper, including the revered New York Times, and read a few articles. In every issue, you'll find the word unclear. They might say, "It's unclear who is behind the latest suicide bombing in Iraq."

This is the media's way of saying that they haven't a clue. If they said, "It's unclear what President Bush was thinking when he decided to invade Iraq," that would make sense.

Newscasts on CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS, and Fox all use the word "unclear." One thing is clear to me: all these networks care about is their ratings. The higher the ratings, the more they can charge advertisers.

This was also born-out when CBS boosted their ratings with the appointment of Katie Couric as the anchor on the CBS News. Now, there is more chatter about her sign-off than the quality of the reporting. I suggest that she simply say at the end of the news, "Are you clear now?"

Back to Earth

As I write, several US astronauts are at the International Space Station. Today they reported a problem, an obnoxious odor in the capsule, which forced them to don their oxygen masks. Well, I'm not even going to touch that one.

I heard that they're coming "back to Earth" later this week. Well, they haven't really left the earth in the first place, they're only flying around the Earth.

When the co-pilot makes an announcement to prepare for landing, he or she doesn't say, "Prepare to return to Earth." They could, because the plane left the Earth, much in the way the astronauts leave the Earth. I'll grant that they're much, much higher than the passengers in the plane, but they're still within the gravitational pull of the Earth.

Unless one goes to the Moon, or another planet, they haven't really left the Earth. Humans haven't yet gone to Mars. If and when they do, I hope that they will return to Earth.

Men and Machines

Saying that men and machines go hand-in-hand is like saying that all men like sports. I'm comfortable around machines of all sorts, but sports bore me.

Now, my neighbor's machines disturb me. They have motorcycles, all-terrain vehicles, and power washers to clean them. We have a house in the country, and like to get away from the city for some peace and quiet.

The machines I really like are household machines. Dishwashers and vacuum cleaners are my favorites. I have two vacuum cleaners, a Miele and an Oreck. Though different, both are great. One of the features I like is that they're man-sized. I hate short vacuum cleaners that I have to hunch over to use.

I also like dishwashers. However, I never put pots and pans in them. Pots and pans are supposed to be washed by hand. Most women, I've found by experience, don't know how to load a dishwasher.

Sometimes they fill the top shelf first, maybe because it's more convenient. Then they fill the bottom shelf.

Dishwashing machine engineers spent a lot of time figuring out what should go where. They've measured plates, cups, glasses, and utensils in order to determine how best to clean them, and stack them.

Every little space in the rack was specifically designed for a specific object. Basically, cups and glasses should be put in the top rack. Dishes and bowls are placed below. This is important.

Also, some like objects, spoons especially, should be separated in the silverware container in the dishwasher. Say, you have two spoons cozying up to each other. One spoon may not get cleaned because it's too close to the other spoon. This is sometimes true with butter knives, too.

I know, this seems silly to harp on, but in my office we have a dishwasher, and I find that I have to constantly reload it. Whoever loads it (and I'm not at liberty to say), puts stuff in haphazardly.

I think the kitchen, and the home in general, is a natural place for men. What with vacuum cleaners, dish washers, microwaves, gas ovens, there are some really cool machines to have fun with.

Is Pat Robertson an Idiot?

Televangelist Pat Robertson continues to put his foot in his mouth and make idiotic remarks. His latest remarks were about Ariel Sharon, Prime Minister of Israel. He said that Sharon's stroke was as a result of God's judgment because Sharon was giving land back to the Palestinians (the biblical Philistines).

This is as idiotic as Robertson's prounouncements of God's judgments of the other idiots who believe in UFOs. And again, not too long ago, he suggested that the U.S. government assasinate Hugo Chavez of Venezuela.

Are Robertson's off-the-cuff remarks just stupid, biased, anti-everything but Robertson, or are they something more? I think it's an example of people who believe in a myths and unproved doctrines (All doctrines are unproved theological theories.) who won't listen to reason. It's akin to the Creationists, some of which now call their belief Intelligent Design. They are not intelligent, but pathetically ignorant. (I haven't figured out yet Robertson's views of Chavez, except that Chavez is anti-American, and maybe Robertson believes America is God's second Chosen Land.)

Pat Robertson believes that the Bible predicted the 1948 re-formation of Israel, and that the biblical land promised to Abraham is what Israel will eventually inheirit. Anything less than that is going against God. That's why he said what he did about Sharon. Fortunately, greater Christian values came through and he apologized. (But his apology may have come because his name was no longer going to be included as a benefactor at a tourist site in Northern Israel.)

Robertson, like so many Christian fundamentalists, refuse to employ reason. This is to their detriment, as it leads them to make foolish statements like Robertson is prone to make. Of course, they can believe anything they like. Who really cares?

For God's sake, God gave us a brain. Let's use it. People like Robertson go against God because they don't use the faculties God gave them.

Intelligent Design: What Fundies Won't Tell You

Boiled down, the debate over Intelligent Design is really simple. Conservative Christians believe the Genesis story of where everything came from. Any deviation from that is heresay. But wait, there's more...

There's another Genesis story that Conservative Christians put even more faith in. That's the story of Adam and Eve. Their focus isn't on Adam and Eve frolicking naked in the Garden of Eden without a care in the world. It's what happened next, and how it affects them, and, they think, the rest of us.

Fundamentalists are very theological, or dogmatic. I know, as I used to be one of them. There's the old joke about the debate over how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. Christian Fundamentalists are very exacting in their beliefs.

Let's go back to Genesis and Adam and Eve. Fundamentalists believe in a dark doctrine called "The Fall." As a result of Adam and Eve's sin...not so much eating an apple, but yielding to Satan, disguised as a snake (mythology, my friends). As a result of this grave mistake (no pun intended), they believe that all human beings are born into sin. In other words, we're sinners as soon as we pop out of that warm and safe place called the womb. As a result of this sin, we're automatically destined for the unquenchable fires of hell, where there's "weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth."

And there's not a damn thing you can do about it...save one. And that's to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. Like Personal Size Ivory, Jesus will clean you up and wash away your sins. And Fundamentalists will be glad to tell you about the "Plan of Salvation," so you, too, can be saved.

A lot of religions, like Judaism, in which Jesus himself was a practioner, don't believe that you're a sinner until you start committing some sins. I don't know how old you have to be, but somewhere along the line we chose to do that which is not right. I really doubt, though, that it pisses off God. Doesn't he have more to be concerned about than you telling a little lie?

This is what you have to really, really understand about Intelligent Design. Suppose it's generally accepted that evolution is true, and I define evolution as a natural progression of nature through the survival of the fittest. Now let's suppose that science disproves (which of course it already has) the malarkey of a literal interpretation of Genesis?

If we toss out the Creation fable in Genesis, then we also toss out "The Fall," the the idea that we're all sinners needing the Fundamentalist's "Plan of Salvation" through Jesus...and of course, attending a Fundie church of your choice.

Folks, this is why Christian Fundamentalists are hanging onto Creationism, or as they've renamed it, Intelligent Design. This is the bottom line, and this is what it's all about. You throw out Creationism, aka Intelligent Design, in Genesis, you throw out Christian Fundamentalism and all its dogma.

The Christian Fundamentalists have a right to believe the way they do. The only problem is, they want to foist all their beliefs and lifestyle on the rest of us. We'll fend for ourselves, they don't have to worry about saving our souls.

Safest Subway Cars

Most subway cars in New York City are safe all the time...even though I wouldn't want to ride in a lonely train late at night. There are two cars that are safer than the others.

Every train has two MTA employees on them. Those cars are the safest because they can call for help if it's needed. A driver/engineer and a conductor are on every subway. The engineer, of course, is in the first car. The first car is easy to find.

The conductor is in the middle car. That's the car I always try to ride in. There's a little-known way to always be standing on the platform exactly where the conductor's car stops.

Every subway station has a black and white striped board about 10" x 6' mounted facing the tracks about 7' overhead, approximately in the middle of the platform. Find that black and white striped board and stand there. The conductor will stop at that exact location. This is so that both ends of the train are within the station before the conductor opens the doors, and on the correct side of the train facing the platform.

If you start this habit, and you think the conductor is pointing at you every time...because he/she will point, it's not at you. There's a long-standing safety rule for conductors. To assure that the conductor actually sees the black and white striped board, and he/she is facing the platform, the conductors are required to point at the black and white striped board. They always do this, and most New Yorkers who see them point haven't a clue as to why.

What's "It" All About

I love good slogans. To me, they're like modern, commercialized versions of the wise sayings of Ben Franklin and others. "A stitch in time saves nine." Or, "A penny saved is a penny earned.

The Ontario, Canada license plate says, "Yours to discover." That's a good one.

The New York Times still uses, "All the news that's fit to print." Many have twisted that to read, "All the news that fits in print." Of course, The New York Times doesn't really follow their slogan anymore. They can't, if they want to report on the news as it really is.

Slogan writers get paid a lot of money, and while sometimes they earn it, often they don't. Many of these sloganeers are very lazy and just add whatever kind of product or service they're writing a slogan for to the end of "It's all about..." For these lazy writers, "It's all about the money."

Companies that you'd think know better are guilty of employing this useless, meaningless phrase, "It's all about..."

Google, on their AdWords page states, "It's all about results."

Fresh Direct says on their delivery trucks, "It's all about the food." To give them credit though, they seem to be phasing out "It's all about the food," and using, "Our food is fresh. Our customers are spoiled." I like this one, and as a fan of Fresh Direct, agree with it.

When you look at ads, look for "It's all about..." You'll be surprised how many you see.

Annoying Shoppers

Have you ever followed someone into a store and as soon as they get in the door they just stop, blocking you from entering? This happens all the time in New York. Either they're adjusting their eyes to the light, or deciding where they want to go first. Maybe they've never been in that store before.

Another annoying thing some shoppers do is wait until the clerk rings up their purchase and tells them how much to pay, and then they open up their bag and start searching for their wallet, or their change hiding in the black hole at the bottom of their purse.

What, did they think they were getting the stuff free? Were they in shock when their purchase was rung up and they had to pay money for the stuff?

Sometimes they take the opportunity to unload all their change, thus lightening their load. They carefully count out all the pennies while the line behind them gets longer.

Common courtesy says that when you enter a public place you make way for other people who may just want to go in there too.

And get your money out as soon as you lay your merchandise down on the counter. Don't start looking for your change when you find out how much you owe.

If these annoying things are part of Intelligent Design to teach me patience, it ain't working.

Canes aren't fashion accessories

A few years ago I suffered a minor fracture of my right ankle. I had an air cast and walked with a cane for awhile. I used the cane in my right hand, to take pressure off that ankle when walking.

I see people all over New York walking on canes. About 50% use the cane on the opposite side of their injury. It makes me cringe to think that 50% of the people are adding injury upon injury. I even had the chutzpah to stop one woman with a big cast on her foot and ask her why she was using her cane on the opposite side. She claimed that her doctor told her that that was the correct side. Now, when she sees me she tries to avoid me.

Puzzled by this matter, today I wrote to Tara Parker-Pope, who writes a weekly Q&A column in the Health Journal section on Tuesdays in The Wall Street Journal.

My precise question to her was: "If you injure, say, your right foot. What side, right or left, should you use a cane for support?"

Tara Parker-Pope wrote back: "I love this question. My answer is you should use it on the same side as your injury. You are using it to relieve pressure on that side. Makes no sense to put it on the other side. I will ask an orthopedic expert. Do you really see people using it wrong? Sounds nutty to me. Maybe it's just a fashion accessory now..." tpp

Sticks and Stones

As kids we learned the little ditty, "Sticks and stones break my bones, but words and faces will never hurt me."

Words and faces can only hurt you if you let them. A long time ago I decided not to let them hurt me. Therefore, I'm opening up this blog to comments from readers...if I have any.

I remember years ago I worked for WSBS radio station in Great Barrington, Massachusetts. One time we went off the air for about two hours, and no one even called the station to complain or wonder where we were.

So, that may be the case with this blog. We'll see.

Hot Water Heaters?

In today's Real Estate section of the New York Times, there's an article by Jay Romano called "How to choose a hot water heater." It details everything you'd ever want to know about water heaters. I found it kind of interesting.

Besides the headline, "How to choose a hot water heater," hot water heaters are mentioned throughout the article.

I feel (not too seriously, though) that I need to point out something that maybe William Safire in his column On Language should write about. If your water is already hot, why do you need to heat it? You don't heat hot water, you heat cold water to make it hot. So shouldn't these things be called cold water heaters, or just water heaters?

I wonder where the expression comes from about someone getting into "hot water."

Just say "You're welcome"

My public radio station, WNYC, is in the midst of their Fall fund-raiser. While it interrupts the programming, it's necessary, and they do it in a tasteful way. I used to listen to another NPR station in upstate New York. Their fundraisers were so obnoxious that I would make my pledge, and then turn the radio off for a week. I guess that was their tactic with the listeners.

Public radio interviews a lot of people. That's one reason I like it. One thing annoys me though. Often, a host or interviewer will say something like, "Welcome to our show." Most people say, "It's good to be here."

Why do they say that? It's because they heard someone else interviewed and that person said, "It's good to be here." That seems to be the thing to say. I think it sounds stupid.

I like it when someone simply says, "Thank you."

At the end of the interview, the host or interviewer always says "Thank you." Often, the interviewee also says "Thank you." I've noticed that if the interviewer says "Thank you very much," the interviewee will say "Thank you very much.


My parents taught me that if someone says "Thank you," then you say "You're welcome."

I also like it when they respond, "A pleasure."

Conservatives really love Harriet Miers

My personal opinion about the religious conservative's public position on Harriet Miers nomination for the U.S. Supreme Court is that they are being deceptive. In doing so, they hope to lull Democrats into thinking that they question Bush's choice of a Supreme Court Associate Justice.

They pretend to be divided -- to question where she stands. They know damn-well where she stands.

In reality, I think that they love her. She's demonstrated that she's very anti-abortion, and she gives more than 10% of her income to her evangelical church.

What evangelical pastor wouldn't want her to be a member of his, or her, flock?

Chick Inn

In the past few years, outdoor cafes have bloomed in New York City. A lot of these are pretty nice.

Last night I dined at the Chick Inn, a lesbian-run place just down the the street from Henrietta Hudson (where the awning says "bar and girl") on Hudson Street in the West Village. I like the food and prices at the Chick Inn. This isn't a promo for them, because they're going out of business anyway next month. They'll be missed, as will their logo, a chicken with breasts. Now, I know that all chickens have breasts, but the chicken on the Chick Inn logo has, well, tits. That's the only way to phrase it.

New York has lots of dogs. Most of them are unlicensed, but that's beside the point. The point is, all these dogs have to be walked. I have a dog, too. And he needs to be walked three times a day.

I have rules about where Sparky can pee. The three place where he can't pee are on live plants (except trees), on places of worship, and where people sit or typically stand. The latter includes payphones, benches, and outdoor cafes.

It appalls me when I see people let their dogs pee right in front of an outdoor cafe. It's like letting Sparky pee in their dinning room. Wouldn't they love that.

Last night several dogs peed in front of the Chick Inn. I felt like throwing my ice water on them...the owner, not the dog.

Inside Edition

A producer from Inside Edition called me the other day about appearing on a segment of the show about the End Times. He apparently googled "end times" or something similar and up came my name.

He thought I believed in the Rapture, a Christian fundamentalist belief that sometime soon, at the sound of the trumpet, believing Christians will literally fly from the Earth to meet Jesus in the air. Well, at one time, years ago, I did. I remember well the first time I heard about this teaching. "If this is true," I said, "Why isn't it widely taught, I mean, this is incredible!"

The Rev. Tim LaHaye, in his best-selling series of end-time "Left Behind" books, has reinforced this belief among a segment of our population. I think he's preaching to the choir, as I haven't met anyone who became a believer in the Rapture as a result of reading LaHaye.

Anyway, Inside Edition wanted to do a show about people who believe that the end of the world is near. The hurricanes, earthquakes and tsunamis made them think this would be a hot topic.

The end of the world, as we know it, may come someday. It really depends on how much abuse old mother earth can take. Perhaps, and this is depressing, that all that will be left on earth are microbes or bacteria.

At least it won't happen in our lifetime, or even in our grandchildren's lifetime.

Censorship on the Left?

Last April I was one of the featured speakers at City College in New York at a conference sponsored by the New York Open Center. The conference was billed as "Examining the Real Agenda of the Religious Far Right."

As a long-time advocate for the separation of church and state, and an opponent of the religious right, the organizers of the conference assumed that they knew what I would say. I think by now, most educated voters know the position and agenda of the religious right. It's pretty much in the open.

However, some of the speakers at this conference seem to be conspiracists on the left. They seem to think that so-called Christian Reconstructionists and Dominionists are guiding the movement we call the religious right.

While I believe that things will swing back toward the center in the next election, I also believe that the current climate is a reaction to so-called liberals who have pushed the envelope beyond acceptabilty.

During my talk, which, for the most part, was well-received by the audience (but not the organizers), I talked about witnessing two men having sex on the street in New York's West Village. Without going into the details of what I witnessed, I, a liberal in many matters, was appalled by their actions.

I also mentioned that abortion is undesirable, and that we should do all we can to curb it, while still keeping it legal. I personally know women who use abortion as birth control.

A couple of people in the audience verbally protested any suggestion that we stop pushing the envelope in these areas.

To get to the point, I don't believe that there is any kind of serious conspiracy by Christians to take over the country. On the other hand, I do believe in a separation of church and state, and feel that there are many violations of this principle nationwide.

The other day I received a DVD from the Open Center called "Examining the Real Agenda of the Religious Far Right." The video disk contained seven of the featured speakers, but left my talk off. I wasn't surprised, but I do find it disappointing that my efforts to present a balanced, rational view was left out.

Who cares what Skipp Porteous has to say?

With many thanks to my long-time friend Ruth Shepard I now have my own blog. Ruth will probably read it once in a while, but I don't know who else will. If nothing else, it gives me an outlet to express any pent-up frustrations or make comments on issues of the day, not that anyone really cares what I have to say.